Fires Collide (twystedpixie) wrote,
Fires Collide

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What an odd little Hobbit. A creepy little Hobbit.

Loki, the new kitten, has crossed the line from being amusingly weird to downright hilariously creepy.

I haven't had much time to post and thus, haven't written about his bizarre fetish with the bathroom, and toilet in particular. The little guy is *fascinated* with it. Any time I'm in the bathroom, doing my business, he has to be righttherenext to me, trying to see what's going on. He actually got himself wedged between me and the back of the toilet seat once, climbing behind me to see what was happening. And I challenge you not to burst into laughter at a little grey and white kitten pushing in frustration at your leg with his little paws, like, "Ughhhh moooooove, hooman! Wanna see, wanna SEEEEEE!!"

A few weeks ago, I was brushing my teeth and had my head tipped back as my nose had been dripping all day. I leaned forward to spit and stopped short--to find Loki sitting in the sink, blinking at me.

"Uhmb, kidden?" I asked through a mouthful of toothpaste.

He just looked at me for a minute and hopped out.

Another time, he was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, between the shower curtain and liner, while I was putting on my make-up. I threw a wad of tissue into the toilet and flushed it. In his frantic desperation to get to the toilet and see what was going on, Loki tried to go straight through the shower curtain, got tangled up in it, freaked out, and then flipped off the shower edge and into the toilet, which, by that point, was luckily refilling with clean water. He bolted back out of the toilet in a flash and if you could have seen the comically surprised, "BWAFUCK?!?!" expression on his face as his ass hit the water, you'd not have stopped laughing for days.

And, he adores me. ADORES me. I am not sure if it's because I saved him from the streets, or if its just his nature (and he is still very young), but he has to be everywhere I go, will randomly climb into my lap and snuggle against my chest. Follows me around like a dog when he doesn't want to let me out of his sight.

Today, however, his fetish just took a turn for the creepy. Hilariously, unintentionally creepy.

I was in the shower and he was in the bathroom (naturally), sitting on the toilet (naturally), which is usually enough to entertain him as I shower. But not this time. He started this piteous mewing that was so much louder and more pronounced than his usual kittenish little meeps and squeaks that I thought he had gotten his paw stuck in the shower curtain or had hurt himself. I stuck my head out to find him standing right outside the bathtub, blinking up at me. He immediately stopped his caterwauling, and I scratched his nose, drew the shower curtain closed again, and resumed showering. Cue him meowing at the top of his little lungs again. Again, I pulled back the curtain and again, as soon as he saw me, he stopped fretting: *purrrrrrrrr* For a third time, I closed the curtain and rinsed my--


*yanking open the curtain again, shampoo suds drizzling down my neck*

"Kitten, WHAAAT??"

*immediate purring upon seeing my face*

"Kitten, I know you want attention now, NOW, RIGHTTHEFUCKNOW!!!, but I'm naked and covered in soap suds, here. You're gonna just have to--"


The solution was that I had to leave the shower curtain partly open the entire time I showered, so Loki could sit and have an unobstructed view of me, the object of his affection, as I showered. I can't tell you how absurdly unsettling, how self-deprecatingly hilarious it is, to feel like you're the object of a voyeuristic feline peepshow. But trust me, it is.

God, he's such a weird little furball.

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